Why does my pet “pretend” to disobey? When it’s not stubbornness, but a lack of communication

THE pet pretends to be disobedient when in fact, you are facing a failure of communication, not a challenge to your authority.

After all, why would an animal that loves us, that depends on us for everything, deliberately frustrate us? The answer rarely lies in malicious intent.

Instead, it lies in a fundamental gap between what we ask for and how our dog or cat processes that information.

It's as if we're trying to give instructions to a foreigner who doesn't speak our language. He's not being disrespectful, he just doesn't understand us.

The Unbreakable Bond: Beyond Apparent Stubbornness

The relationship between humans and pets is based on trust and affection. No one chooses a companion to have a battle of wills.

So when confronted with “disobedient” behavior, the first question should be: what is really going on here?

Is the fault with the animal, or with the way the message was conveyed? The truth is, the responsibility almost always falls on us.

Many owners don't realize that their instructions are ambiguous. A loud "sit" in a chaotic environment can be ignored.

Not because the dog is stubborn, but because he can't distinguish the command from the background noise. To him, it's just another sound.

Context Matters: A Matter of Environment and Signals

A pet's obedience isn't a switch we turn on or off. It's an ongoing process that depends on the environment.

A dog that performs a command perfectly at home may appear "dumb" or "disobedient" outside. The problem isn't the dog.

It's the barrage of stimuli—smells, sounds, other animals—that compete for their attention. The animal's brain is on overload.

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The dog isn't able to focus on the command when there are so many other things to do. That's why training in varied environments is crucial.

A common mistake is to assume your pet knows something after just one or two repetitions. Memorizing commands is a gradual process.

When it's not the Pet's fault

The way we communicate is vital. Our animals rely on a combination of verbal and nonverbal cues.

If our body language contradicts the word, the animal becomes confused. For example, saying "stay" while moving can create uncertainty.

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The animal doesn't know which of the signals to follow. The pet is in a kind of limbo, paralyzed by indecision.

Human frustration is evident in our voices and gestures. Pets understand this. They sense our discontent, even without understanding the cause.

Deciphering Behavior

Pet Behavior	Common Human Interpretation	Real Cause (Failed Communication)
Does not respond to the command “come”	“He is stubborn”	The command was not associated with sufficient positive reinforcement or the environment is distracting.
He goes to the bathroom in the wrong place	“You’re doing it on purpose”	Lack of consistency in training, elimination times or locations, or signs of anxiety.
Destroys household objects	“You’re challenging me”	Boredom, separation anxiety, lack of exercise or mental stimulation.

Beyond Obedience: Understanding the Dog as an Individual

THE pet pretends to be disobedient, but the issue goes deeper. An animal's behavior is the sum of its genetics, environment, and life history.

A rescue dog who has suffered trauma may have difficulty trusting and following commands, even if they want to please.

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It's the difference between "not wanting to" and "not being able to." Empathy helps us understand this distinction.

It's not about justifying behavior, but understanding it in order to correct it.

Building Trust

Positive reinforcement is the basis of effective training.

A study from the University of Helsinki in Finland, published in the journal Scientific Reports, showed that the use of positive reinforcement methods is directly associated with lower stress levels and a stronger relationship between dog and owner.

The research analyzed 14,000 dogs and concluded that aversive training practices can, in the long term, damage the bond.

When a dog has a positive experience obeying, he learns. He associates the act with reinforcement.

This reward doesn't have to be food. It can be praise, a toy, or a game.

This association is what builds the desired behavior. pet pretends to be disobedient when reinforcement is not clear or consistent.

Communication Failure

The “no” that doesn’t work.

Many owners use "no" in a variety of contexts, from urinating on the carpet to biting a hand. To a dog, "no" is a sound.

He does not understand what it means unless it is accompanied by a direct and understandable consequence.

If the owner says "no" and then ignores the animal, the message is confusing. If they say "no" and then hit the animal, the message is one of fear.

The best approach is to offer an alternative. Instead of "don't bite your hand," teach your dog to bite a toy.

The command without context.

The dog loves to sit in the living room. He sits when you ask him to, he's a good boy.

But when you take him to the park and ask him to sit, he ignores it. That doesn't mean the pet pretends to be disobedient.

The dog didn't generalize the command. He didn't associate the word "sit" with the action everywhere, but only in the living room.

The solution is to practice in different locations and with different levels of distraction.

The Truth Behind Stubbornness: It's Our Fault

THE pet pretends to be disobedient is a myth. Stubbornness is a human attribute to behavior we don't understand.

Our dogs and cats are sensitive beings who strive to please. Miscommunication is the barrier between intention and action.

A Call to Empathy

The next time your dog or cat “disobeys,” stop and breathe.

Ask yourself: Was I clear? Was the environment conducive? Was I conveying the right message?

In 90% of cases, the answer is on the other end of the leash. Communication is a two-way street.

And patience and empathy are the tools that build the bridge. After all, a pet pretends to be disobedient when we humans fail.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. My dog does something wrong and then looks "guilty." Isn't this a sign that he knew he was doing something wrong?

No. What we interpret as guilt is actually a reaction to our body language.

The animal senses our anger and adopts a submissive posture. It doesn't associate our anger with what it did, but with our presence at the time.

2. If my pet ignores me when I'm at home, but obeys my partner, what does that mean?

It may mean you need to be more clear or consistent with your commands.

Your partner may use a tone of voice or body language that your dog understands better. Review your communication method.

3. How can I prevent my dog from getting distracted during training?

Start in a distraction-free environment. Gradually add more stimuli, such as a toy or the presence of another person. Remember to reward success.

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